June 1, 2011
The Rat Chronicles
So it seems to be rat season (although they never really left)! I haven’t slept in a solid week and wake up most nights to the sound of a rat chewing though my wall or knocking stuff down off my shelves. I decided enough is enough. . . I mean I know I only have 5 more months left but I have to sleep. So I made a plan.
Step 1-Put my nasty old T-shirts in every rat hole I can find.
Step 2-Put screens (a cut up mosquito net) on all my windows because yes they can get in even with closed windows.
Step 3-Cover all remaining holes in the walls with screens (double thick).
Step 4-Buy a rat trap.
The first night after all of this was uneventful. The rat ate the bait but the trap didn’t budge. The second night I decided to roast some yummy corn for myself and the rat to enjoy. I also put a little rat poison around the trap just for kicks before going to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night to a loud SNAP! I tiptoed around the corner to the trap and what did I see? Well I even took a pic . . . the defeated rat looking half-conscious and stumbling around like a drunk. He wasn’t dead yet but I figured I’d let him die in peace and went back to bed. The next morning I found him barely alive in the corner of the room. The cat from next door got a nice big breakfast.
Unfortunately this isn’t the end of the story. Later on during the day I saw a rat running around the beams in the roof. That night I set the trap again and had to change the bait twice in the night. What did I find the next morning? A hell of a lot of rat poop and no sign of the rat. The next night I set the trap again and emptied the entire box of rat poison on the floor (by now I’m exhausted). I wake up in the night to the sound of plastic bags shuffling. I torch the house up with my light but see nothing so decide I’m hearing things. After the third time I think I’m either completely paranoid and crazy or blind without my contacts. Turns out I wasn’t crazy at all. The blessed rat had chewed its way through my food safe. I have been here almost two years and nothing has ever gotten in to that food safe. The next morning I patched up the hole with some wire and hoped for the best. The next night the rat found its way in there again and had a big meal of ziplock bags and rice. The next day I emptied my entire food safe into a plastic tub with a solid lid.
I thought I could defeat the rats and diminish their population around here. But I guess rats are incredibly smart. Not only did they spoil my food safe but they have managed to chew through all the holes in the walls again and the screens on the windows. Why do I have to be allergic to cats?